Today's "food for thought" column will focus on my father's participation in a game called softball. He plays every Sunday morning and brings me along as pure torture.
I don't understand the game at all. It is very confusing. It doesn't make any sense. I try to watch and understand, but I feel like I'm missing something.
I've tried to teach Dad, (at the me park) on a number of occasions, what to do with a ball when you get it. You put the ball in your mouth and you run away from everyone around you. You run as if your life depended on it.
What you don't do, is give the ball to someone else. YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE BALL! That's the whole point of playing fetch! You keep the ball away from everyone else! You don't give the ball away!
You should see it...when Dad gives the ball to someone else, they cheer him for it! They give him praise and treats (Mom calls them "Sunflower Seed". I think they taste like dirt. Salmon treats are way better).
And sometimes, Dad tries to hit the ball with a metallic object. YOU DON'T HIT THE BALL....YOU CHEW ON IT!
Sometimes, it's very frustrating to watch. So, I try to grab the ball away from Dad and his friends and show them how to properly play with the ball. Sure it pisses them off and sometimes delays the game, but if you don't properly learn how to play with a ball....how can you ever have fun?